In the movie Jerimiah Johnson, the old man said, “I loves the Wimmen, I shorely do.” I will second that. There is a saying, behind every good man is a woman. I will change that a little and say, beside every good man is a woman. One thing I have learned in 79 years. It is not what you have, it is not where you go or it is not what you do. When the time comes, it’s who walks beside you that really matters. Including of course our Lord. But the women who helped build this nation were beyond remarkable. The women played vital roles in working side by side with their men. They had a desire of being free and owning a little piece of ground, too. One thing they didn’t do was a lot for themselves. I have no doubt some dreamed of escaping the life of toil and going to the big city, going dancing and hearing music and singing. Most every one of us has had dreams. Each day that time takes moves those dreams farther away. But we can’t stop or we shouldn’t stop.
Let us take a look at some of the things our wonderful folks faced in earlier times in Appalachia. After the cabin was built with a wide fireplace for heat and cooking, it was the women who took care of it. Heavy iron kettles and pots were hung on a hook and the cooking was done in them. Of course, potatoes were buried in the ashes to cook. The fireplace was heated with wood which the women put into the fireplace as needed. Now you know how messy a fireplace is so they constantly swept and kept it up when cooking especially. And I suppose those long dresses were a danger of catching on fire. The meals were just part of the labor and when the men came in for lunch they all ate together. Then of course the few eating utensils had to be washed and cleaned to repeat the meal at dusk.
But first things first – most of the milking was done by the women. If older children were in the family then they did the milking. The eggs were gathered by the woman early for breakfast, most times before daylight. The women also were in charge of the garden, which was huge most of the time. There was planting, hoeing, weeding, gathering and cooking. But there was more. Somewhere in there they canned large amounts of food such as beans, okra, tomatoes, peaches, sausage and meat. If they had a loom they spun cotton into thread and made cloth. This daily grind would wear most folks down in a hurry but these remarkable women took great pride in showing their artistic skills through weaving quilt patterns and even flower patterns. If someone in the area was getting married, they took time to get together and make for them a wedding quilt.
And one of the most remarkable aspects of our women was that they did most of this work pregnant a lot of time. There was no birth control and besides that, they wanted children so they could take some of the workloads on the homestead. There are many pictures of women cooking, working with a baby on their hip and other older little ones nearby. I don’t know when they had time to make babies or when they weren’t too tired. As many as six or eight children were common. I have a friend who had 18 in his family. I think 4 didn’t survive. Can you imagine 14 sitting down to eat? I don’t understand how these ladies did that and anything else. But they did.
One way that our women did that helped them along the journey, was that they made some work a social time of getting together and talking. They shared news, recipes and ideas. Some of the ways were quilting ‘bees.’ Several women would go to a home and gather around a quilt frame and sew and talk. It was a great outlet for them. And my Mom said they looked forward to those days together. I remember playing under the quilt frame that hung from the ceiling while four or more women talked and sewed.
Another way was bean breaking times. They would help each other when their crops came in to break and prepare them for canning. Some families got together to make molasses. One or more homesteads would raise sugar cane. When it was ready they would press the juice out of it and boil the juice, skimming off the waste until molasses were made. A necessary product for eating, sweetener and selling. I will repeat a story I heard about a preacher stopping for the night at a homestead and sitting down to eat. There was a jar of sorghum and a pone of cornbread. That’s all they had. The old man said, “Rev, jest dig in, theys plenty.” For some reason, that story speaks to me way inside and I just can’t pinpoint exactly why. I suspect it has to do with my prodigal days when there wasn’t enough. Sometimes neighbors helped each other can food. A hot job and any help was appreciated and returned. But they still made it a social time. Hog killing time was another time women used for social interaction. Shucking the corn crop was a lot of work but they helped each other. Just amazing how they made life bearable. Just examples of what made America – Work, Worship and a Willingness to help each other, (Whether you liked them or not).
Sometimes the water source was some distance from the home. Water for cooking, drinking and washing had to be toted from the spring or creek almost every day. We don’t think of water supply being work but it sure was to them and the women carried many buckets several times a week. And I mentioned feeding and milking the cow. Well, it was twice a day 7 days a week. Another reason they wanted children and there was churning to do. Churning the cream and squeezing the water out of it and making butter patties. A porch or floor to sweep, a baby to change, one sick, clothes to mend, food to cook, chickens to feed, a garden to work and harvest and a fire to keep up. And the old man comes in at lunch wanting a kiss and he wonders why she slapped him. Just another day.
The woman in the families was usually the spiritual leader of the families. She had to get all the younger children cleaned up and herself for Church. And one thing our people did was go to Church on Sundays. Baptist Churches were started and grew in communities because the dominant Church at the time was Presbyterian. And they required their Preachers to be trained. Well, that was hard to do in the mountains so other denominations were born. The Church was also a social outlet for women. They used every avenue available to ease the drudgery of relentless workloads every day. The women cooked for the dinners on the ground at the Church. The men set around and smoked, chewed and talked about the weather, crops, and their stills. But it was a social time for them, too.
There were few Doctors and women who helped women in childbirth. Natural childbirths. My Grandmother, Anne Burris, from Marshall, NC was a Mid Wife. I was told she helped with over a thousand births during her life. Also, there was a journal she kept that was taken to Mars Hill College and it disappeared. I wish I had it. She was asked how many babies she had helped deliver and save. She said, “I don’t know that number nor do I know how many I lost.” It was a tough life, not just for our womenfolk, but for everyone involved with settling and making America.
Well, I just scratched the surface on the value of our ladies. But most of what I have written was told to me or I saw that way of life personally. And for you fellows, when you see that one, the one you want for life, and she has a beautiful smile, red lips, pretty as a speckled pup, sweet as honey, and walks and sways just the way you love, take note. Don’t be surprised to find a piece of steel hidden inside. If you rile her up you best look out for she can and will make do with or without you. For that reason I say along with the old man, “I loves the Wimmen, I Shorely Do.”