Sometimes I have the best times just minding my business and following up on promises made. Maybe not a promise but saying I will be back to see you soon. It is a sort of promise. You do know, at least you who are mountain folk we hesitate to say no sometimes when we know its No. Be honest now, has someone asked you to come to a party or Church or anywhere else and you say I just might do that. But, in your mind it is a strong no-I’m not going. We hesitate to “hurt feelings”. You ever notice that trait?
Forgive me for the rabbit trail but yesterday I went to see a dear, sweet friend. I put a chapter about her in my book but I got her age and car wrong. First I said I followed her in her new car. She informed me the new car was a 2006. Well it looked new to me. Then I said she was 92. She informed me yesterday that she won’t be 92 till next month. In my mind I thought 90, 91, what difference does it make? They are all amazing, A God given blessing to live that long. She called to give me a fern she didn’t want to keep over the winter. A beautiful fern in a really nice pot. She gave me one last year and it is gorgeous. We put them in the garage and roll them out occasionally for rain etc. So I went over there. We chatted for a few moments and she said would you like to come in and talk for a spell? I would love for you too. I took my shoes off for she has some white carpet and I’m drawn to mud and dirt. She said let’s sit over by the window. She has two comfortable chairs and a table between them. Cluttered with books and papers. And my book. She just made over it and said she loved it cause it was the way she grew up. Her daughter who is 66 has the first one. I said I’m flattered Mary and folk like you make the effort worthwhile.
She looked at me and the wrinkles around her eyes and other places seemed more pronounced. She said things seem to be falling apart this year. I’m more forgetful. I don’t have much energy. and I spoke a bit louder for I noticed she said, :what” several times. Really I wanted to hug her and reassure her but what words do you use? So I shared some of my ‘failings” in hopes of helping her feel better. Seemed to work for now. I said when did you graduate? She said High School in 1947. Our school had the first annual of any in the state. She said I have mine. I said I want to see it. It was gorgeous. Written in just like ours. Prettiest, most popular, etc. I found Mary and she was a honor student-straight f,;s. She played basketball and boy was she pretty. I looked at her face and saw the resemblance, even in spite of those memory furrows, those worry lines, those grief lines and yes laugh and love lines. I thought she has had her time. Her husband Paul died several years ago and she missed him. She still has two church friends that call and they sit together at church. But she is lonely. And she needed my company. I felt like a brother or even a son talking about the old paths. Laughing at some memories…She told me about her first date and meeting Mr Right. How they worked together to make their home and raise a boy and a girl. I saw a tiny tear in the corner of her eye when she mentioned her husband. But here was a real blessing, inside a envelope was all 12 of her report cards. Straight A’s…through war time even. She has many cabinets and books and collections everywhere, neat and clean. She said no one wants this stuff anymore. And she got up and picked up a birdhouse that was painted beautifully, and said I painted this. I told my son he could have it when I die, cause he said that was all he wanted. Well she said they will just have to get rid of all this other stuff, I’m not gonna worry about it. She looked out over her yard and said I wish some of those bushes and trees were straighter, If Paul was still here, they would be…Again, that longing came through. I love these people. I treasure them liking me enough to want to sit a spell. I treasure things they tell me that they probably would not tell their own family. I loaded the fern and I took her by the shoulders and I said Mary I love to come see you, may I come back soon? She said I don’t have any more ferns to get you over here, and laughed. I did too, but not when I got in the truck. An old man who has suffered much shouldn’t shed tears over that. But I did. I don’t need a fern-I just need to do what I say I will. And I will…
… Have you ever had things said or done to you that hurt but you didn’t show any emotion or tried to retaliate? I hold grudges pretty well. In fact, there was a time I could get a good job holding grudges. Not in a long, long time though. Sometimes folk says something that hurt but if you carry that around, you suffer.
I wrote a piece about fishing at a local farm pond and just getting lost in the quietness of that time. I would take an ultra-lite spinning rod with 4 or 6 pound test line and a float and a small hook and put a cricket on it. Throw the thing out and watch it settle down till the ripples were gone. The pond was perfectly calm and flat and beautiful. In fact, it is a picture of the pond on my last book cover. But the tiny float created ripples. and they spread out in a circle until finally dying down. Reminded me so much how gossip or hateful words can create a ripple effect. There may be no truth to the stone that was cast but true or false doesn’t affect the ripple. Leaves floating down on the pond created tiny ripples…Like, “Did you hear about Jack getting into it with his neighbor? Now I don’t know how true it is but that’s not like him.” A man I know had an ex stepdaughter lie about him because he wouldn’t give her money for drugs. The local paper put the accusations on the front page. So and so accused of improper sexual advances. Huge ripple effect. He owns a welding shop, outstanding Church man and impeccable character. She admitted to lying in court. But the ripple was there. Fake news at its best. Innocent until proven guilty. I found a couple flat rocks and skipped some for awhile. 6 skips is my score. Each time the rock hit the surface there was a new wave of ripples. Every time a “I heard this” gets told it is usually added too and the ripples grow. There is a saying that sounds good but I disagree with-sticks and stones may break my bones, but talk will never hurt me.. They may not break the Spirit but they can kill you-however they usually do not create the damage words can do.
Now on the flip side is the good ripple effects. You drop a gift for someone into their lives, and it creates a positive ripple effect. Perhaps a, “did you hear what she gave me? She is so thoughtful”. A good ripple. 82 cents out of every dollar to St Jude’s gets to children. The best-rated charity to donate to in the country. Support a missionary and all the way to Heaven it causes ripples. Someone walks up to you on a golden street and says do you remember the 5 dollars you gave? I got a Bible from that and that’s the reason I’m here today. What a ripple of love.
I have hired young boys and fussed, yelled, and pushed, and worked them hard and I have seen the ripple effect. They learned a trade, how to work, and are successful as they want to be. A good ripple.
Remember a stone thrown can’t be re done? A idle word travels a hard path? A float with bait creates a ripple and a fish dies and gets eaten. The ripple effect caused it to see, and hear it and drew the bream to a bad day of indigestion. I don’t want to be caught up in every little ripple I see or hear about. There have been some huge rocks thrown here on social media. Anger, anxiety, cussing, threats are some by products at our fingertips. We all have a right to our opinion, and I don’t know anyone who changed their mind because of the harsh words spoken.
So what conclusion do we come to? Sitting by that pond with the sunlight filtering through the trees, and the goose family sliding off into the water, and then a soft warm breeze drifted in and suddenly the pond had a ripple effect all over the surface. And I thought, that is what can happen in a business, a friendship, and especially in a Church with our enemy at work with his rock throwing ability. A loose word, a thrown rock, has caused many a problem. Those thrown rocks killed a man in a public place and onlookers watched-including Paul.
I said some things I shouldn’t have said because He spoke to me that day about being careful with words. He reminded me that day that I have two ears and one mouth. And like we all have been told, “if you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all Be Blessed cause you are and you know it